wordweaverlynn: (catbook)
[personal profile] wordweaverlynn
Dear Bunnicat,

You do not live here.

I say this to you every time I see you—usually at least once a day, when you’re inside my kitchen eating Gabriel’s food. The other night when you came strolling into the bedroom was the outside of enough. Gabriel thought so too. At least you took the hint when she started hissing.

You’re a big, soft, furry lump of feline. You don’t seem neglected or hungry. You smell like an intact Tom or a slightly diluted skunk. With your Himalayan markings and deep, plush fur, you’re probably someone’s pampered pet, just out to snag a little extra kibble. Your bobtail looks astonishingly like a rabbit’s tail; I can’t tell if you lost some of it in an accident or were born with a fluffy three-inch stub.

If you insist on using the cat door to visit my apartment, I expect you to follow protocol.

1. Leave Gabriel alone.
2. Do not spray in here or use the litterbox. Do your business outside.
3. Don’t eat more than half the food. Yes, I’m putting out extra. I’m a big old softy.
4. Remember that my lease is restrictive: I am not allowed to have more than one cat.
5. If you show up late for dinner, do not stand in the kitchen and howl in agony. Learn to shake the dry-food dispenser as Gabriel does or show up early enough to get canned food.
6. No fleas. I mean it.
7. Stay in the kitchen. Venturing into the carpeted areas is tacky, especially since (A) you shed like a snowstorm, and (B) you won’t let me touch you.
8. Go home occasionally. As I have said, you do not live here.

Oh, and you might stay still long enough for me to get a picture.

Thank you,
The Management

PS to Humans: Is it possible to have a cat door for my cat and still keep out bold neighborhood felines? How?

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sumobabe.livejournal.com
There are electronic pet doors that will only recognize an animal wearing a particular collar.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amenquohi.livejournal.com
I third that. We got one for a previous cat and it worked great.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gallifreyan.livejournal.com
Yeah, same here. I'd never have an outdoor cat again but something like SmartHome's cat door (http://www.smarthome.com/6106.html) would be cool. It's $55 but you might save that much on house guest catfood in a year. :)

Petdoors.com (http://www.petdoors.com/electronic_pet_doors.htm) might have something too.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mizdandylynn.livejournal.com
I spewed coffee.... this was funny.... though I am sure you are not as pleased

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com
Did this cat just start showing up in the last day or so? It's the end of the month, a lot of pets get abandoned when their owners move to a place that won't take them.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenngbob.livejournal.com
...also the fact that s/he won't let you touch him/her makes me wonder how much of someone's pet s/he is? Yay you for being a softie...

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonflycat.livejournal.com
Your Bunnicat reminds me of my Grayce.

She was a gray tiger-stripe, friendly but hated being petted. Everyone in the neighborhood knew her, and each cat-lover had their own nickname for her. She was hit by a car once and limped a little. One eye was completely obscured by a cataract. She was healthier than most strays and an excellent hunter. We saw her enjoying catches many times, then she'd stretch out in the sun for a nap -- usually in our yard.

She'd suckered the ex, three neighbors and myself into feeding her so she'd get enough nutrients. We even treated her monthly with Advantage. We had three resident cats, all rescues. Our landlords didn't care if Grayce joined us, but we were at our maximum budget for vet care, NutroMax food and such. We assumed Grayce needed a full workup, including shots FeLV testing. When we found her curled on our doorstep or patio table, we did what we could. She visited us for two years.

We found out the BRAT had a HUMAN two blocks away, who provided regular vet care and fed her. The woman was an alcoholic and let "Grayce" do as she pleased, despite the car accident and blind eye. We learned her real name, though I can't remember it now. The ex and I were pissed. We wanted to confront her owner, but neighbors said "we've tried, don't bother".

A wise neighbor coaxed Grayce into a carrier and drove her to a friend's farm 200 miles away. Good home, safe acreage to wander, many cat friends, vet care, good food and all the extra protein she could hunt. Her lousy excuse for an owner thought Grayce met her fate due to another car strike. What a piece of crap.

Cats are smarter than us and will con us into anything. Find Bunnicat's owner and give him/her/etc. a huge piece of your mind.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-31 07:55 pm (UTC)
ext_6418: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elusis.livejournal.com
I haven't had a pet door except in apartments with balconies, but I have in the past dealt with cats who insist upon coming into my cats' territories by making a temp collar out of a piece of 3/4" elastic, and writing on it in Sharpie "is this your cat? If so s/he is acting as if s/he has no home and is bothering my cats. Call me at (phone number) if this cat has an owner" or the like. And yes, I have had phonecalls.


wordweaverlynn: (Default)

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